NFL Week 13 Power Rankings: A Humorous Look

"You got football down, now we gotta work on your GQ pose..."SATIRE ; Week 13 is shaping up to be one of the best weeks of football in recent memory. We have divisional games pitting the some of top teams in the league against one another. This week's winners may decide their division's race or at least put themselves in the driver's seat.1. Patriots (9-2): The first half in Detroit was scary, but then Brady remembered he was playing the Lions.2. Jets (9-2): They showed Cincinnati who the slouches were. Rematch next week in New England will tell us who really is No. 1.3. Falcons (9-2): Class of the NFC. I'll bet the MVP is standing in the picture above.4. Steelers (8-3): God had Suisham on his fantasy team5. Ravens (8-3): Beat a really good Tampa team. Ray football jersey
Ray and Waka Flacco Flame are doing their thing.6. Saints (8-3): The Super Bowl slump must have gotten too hung over celebrating in New Orleans. Because it forgot to deliver its message to the Saints.7. Bears (8-3): Da Bears look legit. The defense is dominating and the offense is putting points up. I kinda feel bad about shunning them before...but I reserve the right to retract this statement when they get embarrassed this weekend vs. Detroit.Vick was back behinds "B(e)ars"Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images8. Chargers (6-5): Vincent Jackson came back just in time to join the rest of the starters on the injured list. If Rivers needs someone to catch his TDs, he could turn to his defense. Apparently they are good enough for Peyton.9. Eagles (7-4): Vick had a touchdown pass picked off by FS Chris Harris. It was his first interception since December 2006. Unfortunately for him, I don't think that was the last time he gave it up in the end zone (jail joke).10. Packers (7-4): There's no shame in losing to a better team. Unfortunately, if they can't get a ground game going, every other team will be better come the playoffs.11. Buccaneers (7-4): Played hard and gave the Raven's a run for their money. It's absolutely ridiculous to think that they might not make the playoffs but someone from the NFC We(r)st will.12. Giants (7-4): Narrowly escaped the Jaguars, but this is a team affected by the injury bug. And the irreversible Manning Choke Syndrome.13. Chiefs (7-4): Stomped Seattle, but we didn't move them up much because I think its mean to pick on the handicap kids.14. Jaguars (6-5): A brutal schedule lays ahead for the Jags, but they are the only team in their division that seems to have it together."Down goes Finnegan"Bob Levey/Getty Images15. Colts (6-5): The Blair White Project got drubbed by San Diego. Maybe we are overreacting, maybe we hate Peyton, maybe we are on to something.16. Dolphins (6-5): There are now two teams in cheap nfl jerseys
Miami that have no business being a game over .500.17. Texans (5-6): No suspension for Johnson? We know who Goodell's WR1 is.18. Raiders (5-6): They are starting to slow down. They probably shouldn't have drank that syrup JaMarcus left in his locker.19. Titans (5-6): Knockout blow? I think so...20. Browns (4-7): Peyton Hillis scares me.21. Rams (5-6): The NFC West is like the Special Olympics. There's drooling and fumbling, yet someone has to win.22. Vikings (4-7): Peterson gets injured, yet they still manage to pull out a win. I think it was AD that needed to go, not Chilly.23. Redskins (5-6): DeAngelo Hall might lead the team in receptions.24. Seahawks (5-6): Relegated to second smartest kid with down syndrome.25. Bills (2-9): God hates the Bills. Plain and simple, how else do you explain Steve Johnson's...haircut?"We praise you 24/7!!! And this is how you do us!!! Thx tho. Some of us started PITT D/ST." - Buffalo FansKarl Walter/Getty Images26. 49ers (4-7): Being on a bad team can age you beyond your years. Frank Gore broke his hip, for crying out loud.27. Cowboys (3-8): The NCAA thanks the NFL for establishing the precedent of a Texas team in the "East."28. Broncos (3-8): The only way Tebow could save this team is if he lined up at linebacker.29. Lions (2-9): Suh's crew plays every game hard. If they were in the NFC West they would deserve a happy meal or ice cream after the game.30. Bengals (2-9): The lack of arrests is the only positive thing about nfl jerseys
this team.31. Cardinals (3-8): Derek Anderson thought it was hilarious that even though they fell to 3-8, they are still only two games out..32. Panthers (1-10): Nothing is humorous about this...well, maybe Jimmy Clausen as a Teletubby.